The True Crisis in a Midlife Crisis

18 06 2012

There’s no accounting for personal style. Not that I have it all going on, Lord knows I’m a mess, especially right now (which I’ll get to someday in future blogs). But in the case of some (not all) middle-aged dudes trying to find themselves, someone ought to remind them that a 25-year-old mentality does not look so hot wrapped in a 55-year-old body.

Case in point yesterday a 50-something white guy pulls up next to me at a red light, driving some sort of sporty, vintage convertible with the top down. Okay, fine. I get it. He’s finally able to afford the car he’s always wanted as a kid, so why should he deny himself such a treasure now? I’m totally onboard with that. Heck, I’m still holding out hope of someday living in an East Village apartment just like Monica’s on the TV show Friends, and being able to afford it on the equivalent of what she made as a cook in some dive in Hell’s Kitchen. (Hey, don’t burst my bubble. It can happen.)

But here’s where it gets weird. Read the rest of this entry »





My Run at FirstRun.tv

12 06 2012

A few weeks ago I got the most interesting email from the producers of a new Internet TV website called FirstRun.tv. Turns out they’re looking for mommy bloggers for a new show they plan to produce and wanted me to apply. Here’s what the email said in part:

“We are seeking six tenacious, entertaining, humorous real-life Mommy Bloggers to take part in this unique new show as regulars. Your blog came to my attention and I am therefore contacting you.

For each episode of MOMMY BLOGGERS, the participants will take their current (or a recent) blog and present it on the show with visuals (we can explain more about this if you are interested), or as a vlog. The participants will then participate in live on-camera conversation with the other show regular bloggers based on a selected weekly topic. Episodes of MOMMY BLOGGERS will run 20 to 30 minutes in length.”

Not one to fall for the old “we’re-looking-for-mommy-bloggers-and-we-think-you’d-be-perfect” ploy I did my due diligence and here’s what I found out. Read the rest of this entry »





7 Online Games That Haven’t Been Invented Yet (Part 2)

6 06 2012

In the interest of replenishing my son’s college fund after the ill effects of the 2008 stock market crash, here is Part 2 of my get-rich-quick online social gaming ideas, sure to make me a rich woman if someone would only create them for me, but give me all the credit. (Isn’t that how it works?) For those of you who missed Part 1 of this series, these are online games that are not yet found in places like Facebook or the iPhone App Store, but should be, thanks me and my bright ideas.

  1. Scrapbook Rehab
  2. Too sick to cook, never too sick to scrapbook

    We all know that certain someone who thinks everything in life is worth documenting, right down to Junior finally ditching his overnight pull-ups for big boy pants (the fact that he was 13 when it happened is news, but regardless we really don’t want to know about it). Convinced that their lives are more exciting than NASA discovering life on another planet, these keepers of unremarkable events are not above dragging out scrapbooks at the most inopportune times. I mean, honestly do I really need to look at pictures of your colonoscopy while waiting to see my son’s teacher at parent-teacher conferences? I know it’s boring standing out there in the hall while the parents before us drone on, but seriously some photography is just not Pinterest-worthy.

    For these Ansel Adams wannabes, there’s Scrapbook Rehab, the game that takes players who can’t put down the scalloped edged scissors and cutesy stickers and turns them back into functioning members of society.

    Level one starts with an intervention of real photographers who know how to take pictures without Read the rest of this entry »





Going Zolo

1 06 2012

Quinn preparing for his launch

Ever wonder what it would be like to put your teenager in a life-sized hamster ball and then send it barreling down a hill? Me, too! In fact, that’s been a lifelong dream of mine ever since I brought babies into this world!

Well, fortunately, last weekend I got the opportunity to launch one of my kids as the gooey center of a big steel ball when we went to a friend’s house for dinner. This particular friend (his name is Zafod Beatlebrox, and yes that really is his legal name) is an artist/inventor and lives on 40 acres of his own private property, so he’s pretty much free to do what he wants. This wonderful isolation, as you can imagine, became the starting point for some raucous fun, especially after we’d all (the adults, I mean) pounded down a few drinks.

So sets the scene when my teenage son hopped into Read the rest of this entry »





A Love Letter to My Friends With Graduating Seniors

29 05 2012

Even though my oldest is only 17 and just ending his junior year in high school, most of his friends are seniors and thus getting ready to graduate and move on to the next phase of their lives, which involves bleeding Mom and Dad dry of every last dime they have; AKA college.

Many of my friends with departing seniors have mixed emotions about this change in family dynamics. On the one hand that parental bond makes it hard to let go, but on the other hand just think what you can do with that extra spare bedroom. It’s tears one moment, and “When are you leaving, again?” the next. The dichotomy is enough to make you want to have a (or another) cocktail.

But then again what did we expect? From the time your sweet baby boy pees on you while lovingly changing his diaper to when your overly-developed 16-year-old daughter curses you for not letting her wear a Fredericks of Hollywood black lace halter to a monster truck rally, you are in for a rough ride. Why should their extraction from home be any different?

Oh sure, Mother Nature does kick in with a little help. After your endearing cherub crosses over to the dark side somewhere around the age of 13, it’s sometimes hard to Read the rest of this entry »





Two Lovely Illuminating Blog Awards

25 05 2012

Last week Phillipa of the World on a Platter blog awarded me The Lovely Blog Award. An absolutely charming blog hosted by a mom and her two kids, World on a Platter chronicles food, journeys and growing up. Thank you so much, Phillipa, I really appreciate it, and look forward to following your blog.

And if that’s not enough, just today I was awarded the Illuminating Blogger Award by C.J. over at Food Stories, a great healthy eating blog that I’m very excited to get to know better. Thank you so much C.J. If you’re into food that doesn’t try to kill you I highly recommend you check out Food Stories. At the very least you’ll get some great healthy recipes out of it.

Wow. I’m humbly racking up quite a few award badges over here on the right side of my blog, which is great, except I’m running out of bloggers to pass the award on to.

For the Lovely Blog Award award I’m supposed to share seven things about myself and forward the award on to 15 bloggers.  For the Illuminating Blogger Award my task is to share one thing about myself and give the award to five bloggers. Being the lazy slug that I am I’m going to cheat and combine both.

So here are seven things about me that few people (but now you all) know: Read the rest of this entry »





Being the Butt of a Bad Colonoscopy Joke

18 05 2012

They say the best humor is found in the most serious of situations, and for once I have to agree with the all-knowing THEM. Before we get off the subject of the colonoscopy I had last Monday, I feel the need to come clean about it, so to speak. True, there were no scary results, however, the procedure itself did NOT go well. I had a weird reaction to that lovely cleansing cocktail and had to be rushed to the hospital just hours after I took it.

Me AFTER I drank that nasty stuff

Upon the first sip around 6:00 p.m. Sunday I immediately felt nauseous. But I’d been warned that it’s nasty stuff, so I went ahead and powered down three more rounds of that poo juice every 15 minutes as instructed.

By 7:45 p.m. the only noticeable result was that my abdomen was so distended, not to mention excruciatingly painful, that I looked like the bottom layer of a Krispy Kreme wedding cake. Normally, I have the constitution of a teenage rooster, so this agonizing backup was a new experience for me.

Thinking things just needed a little encouragement I decided to go for a walk. But by the time I got back Read the rest of this entry »








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