A Cheesy Proposal on Valentine’s Day

14 02 2012

Nothing says "I love you" like artery-hardening pizza

Now I’ve heard it all. For the goon who’s totally clueless when it comes to women, here’s the ultimate bad gift on Valentine’s Day. May I introduce to you The Pizza Hut $10,010 Engagement Package. This is for the man who wants to ask his girlfriend to be his bride, yet thinks the best way to do this is over a Pizza Hut $10 Dinner Box. Because let’s face it, champagne, chocolates, and a romantic dinner where you actually use a fork to eat your meal are just so overrated.

And let’s not overlook the fact that if your sweetie can afford to get you something that costs $10,010, why the hell would he look to Pizza Hut? For that price he could literally fly you to Paris for that romantic dinner and pay Nicholas Sarkozy himself to hide your diamond among the croissants. True, The Pizza Hut $10,010 Engagement Package does include your own personal fireworks display, but somehow I suspect this is just geek speak for sparklers and cherry bombs that were stolen from a roadside fireworks stand in Pahrump, Nevada.

And why is the cost the odd amount of $10,010, as opposed to an even ten grand? Because that extra ten bucks is to cover the cost of the Pizza Hut Dinner Box, silly. Pizza Hut can’t be expected to absorb such a delightful, romantic meal, especially when they’re throwing in cinnamon sticks and a ruby engagement ring. And it’s no mistake the ruby ring conveniently matches the sauce on the pizza, thus making it easy to hide the ring in the pizza for a surprise proposal. Which hopefully comes before the bride-to-be chips her tooth when she eats the slice with the ring, or worse yet nearly chokes to death on it. Let’s just pray that Bubba Boy knows the heimlich maneuver.

Hmm. I guess receiving bargain bin flowers and chocolates don’t sound so bad, even if they were bought last minute at Rite Aid.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Did you like this post? If so, please click on the banner below to vote for me as a Top Mommy Blogger on TopMommyBlogger.com. I don’t win anything except a higher search engine ranking, plus bragging rights to my kids that I’m not as dorky as they think. (Okay, well maybe I am that dorky, but at least I’ll be easier to find on the Web.)

Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

Stacy Dymalski is a stand-up comic who gave up the glamorous life of coach travel, smokey comedy clubs, and heckling drunks for the glamourous life of raising kids (who happen to be bigger hecklers than the drunks). This blog is her new stage.

For more of Stacy’s comedy check out her hilarious book Confessions of a Band Geek Mom available in paperback and on Kindle on Amazon.com.


Actions

Information

23 responses

14 02 2012
Billie

Truer words have never been spoken! What kind of idiot would really buy this? Maybe someone high up on the Republican party, they seen pretty stupid to me.

14 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

Unfortunately, Billie, stupidity knows no bounds. It’s an equal opportunity sensibility, whether the person is Republican, Democrat, Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Jewish, American, foreign, or from the planet Krypton. Personally, I revel in the fact that people are flawed, otherwise I’d be out of a job as a comic continuously pointing out the absurdities of life! If we were all perfect I’d have nothing to write about!

14 02 2012
Dee Macaluso

I’m not smelling anything even close to $10,000.00 worth. Tell you what, just give me the money, I’ll swing by Little Caesar’s and we’ll call it good.

14 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

I know, right? What exactly is worth $10K in this deal? That better be a gold-plated pizza box. Or else the Pizza Hut in which all takes place better be in Rome, Italy (with cheesy breadsticks served up by the Pope).

14 02 2012
hahabuda

Reblogged this on HAHABUDA and commented:
Calling All Couples… Please buy the $10,010 pizza hut engagement package so that I can live vicariously through you.

14 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

Thanks, HahaBuda! And to all you rich guys who buy the Pizza Hut Engagement Package, just a heads up that I have some “vintage” clothing right here in my closet that I’d love to sell you to give to your girlfriend. Honestly, the rips, tears, and snags in all of it simply justify the premium cost. Seriously.

14 02 2012
creatorofstuff

Does the backdrop include a velvet Elvis painting from Tijuana and a lava lamp? Oh wait. That’s an insult to the lava lamp. And the velvet painting for that matter.

14 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

At least a velvet Elvis painting might help justify the $10K value of this bad boy. I’m still trying to figure out what in this deal is worth that kind of dough (pardon the pun).

14 02 2012
Annette Velarde

Wouldn’t you give anything to have been in the room when this idea was pitched by some junior exec to the Pizza Hut big wigs?? Come to think of it, only a blonde 20-something could convince a bunch of paunchy old guys this was a viable business move.

Although I’m cooking Valentine’s Day dinner right now and I’m tellin’ ya – a pizza sounds REALLY good.

15 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

As the old saying goes, Annette, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. If Pizza Hut’s marketing department is clever enough to come up with such a ridiculous premise, I’m happy to poke fun at it in the name of comedy. I just can’t resist jokes that practically write themselves!

15 02 2012
Mommy Needs A Pinot

While I agree wholeheartedly that this is ridiculous, I also secretly wish that this would happen to someone I know so I too can live vicariously through them. Also, I have to admit that my husband brought home pizza last night along with my Valentine’s Day flowers. Because apparently, pizza does in fact spell romance.

15 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

I agree pizza can be romantic dinner choice. However, if I found out my husband paid $10K for pizza at a Pizza Hut, when he could’ve flown me to New York for an evening of Broadway shows and pizza in NYC’s Little Italy, he’d be ingesting said pizza through an alternative orifice. I’m just sayin’… (P.S. Thank’s for stopping by “Mommy Needs a Pinot.” I love your blog!)

18 02 2012
Mommy Needs A Pinot

Thank you! I love yours as well and nominated you for a blog award this morning. I know they are a little silly, but I get a kick out of them!

http://mommyneedsapinot.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/the-liebster-blog-award-you-shouldnt-have/

16 02 2012
David

Hey, I didn’t buy flowers at a Rite Aid on the last minutel, I got them at Smiths and I told my sweetie I’d pick them up tomorrow when they are on sale for half price. Sheesh! You should see what I’m doing for her on presidents day, Harbor Freight has a sale on pencil sharpeners. Just think, no more sharpening them with a perring knife. She’s going to be so thrilled.

16 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

Wow, David, you’re such a catch! How could any woman resist your charms! If you’re planning on asking your sweetie to marry you, and she says yes (which I’m sure she will), please be sure to invite me to your wedding. I’ll bring my own bucket of chicken to share during the reception. 😉

21 02 2012
David

Gosh, who would have guessed, she doesn’t have any pencils. Maybe I should have bought her some of those, they’re cheeper than a sharpener.

19 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

Big thanks to “Mommy Needs A Pinot” for bestowing upon me the Liebster blogger award! High praise coming from one of the funniest mommy bloggers out there! I’m raising a glass of pinot in your honor as we speak!

21 02 2012
edrevets

I bet you get a lot of calories for your money. Also, does the delivery boy/girl have to wear a bow tie or something. It’s worth looking into….

21 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

I think calories are the ONLY thing you get a lot of for your money in this deal. For that kind of cash the delivery person should clean your house, give you a massage, mow your lawn, paint your home exterior, wash your car, babysit your kids (for the weekend), and take your mother-in-law a ride next time she needs a ride to see the doctor. Somehow, I don’t think any of that is included. Therefore, I shall pass.

27 02 2012
Samantha Bangayan

Haha! You know, my initial reaction was, “I like anything pizza,” but all this for only one dinner box? Thank you for showing me the reality of the situation, Stacy! =)

27 02 2012
Stacy Dymalski

I know, right? I guess $10K just doesn’t go as far as it used to…especially when we’re talking about pizza. 😉

13 03 2012
Sara T

Hi There,

Now I’m just hopping around your blog and getting some laughs.
I’m not only curious to know what kind of man would choose this as his proposal route, but what kind of woman would accept?

I’m not saying that it’s all about the ring (although that one is hideous) or even that it’s all about the presentation. But if my boyfriend seriously thought that this was a good idea I’d really have to question whether or not I wanted him to have a stake in the decision making for the rest of my life… you know??

Sara

13 03 2012
Stacy Dymalski

I know, right? Like I said, if my boyfriend had $10K to blow on something ridiculous for me, it’d better involve airline tickets to a romantic place or jewelry that would make a Kardashian jealous. I mean, seriously, how clueless could a guy be if he got this for his fiance?

Thanks for stopping by my blog and taking a look around. I’m so glad you enjoy my posts. I notice that you are also now following my blog, which I really appreciate. At the risk of sounding presumptuous, if you like my blog you’d also love my book “Confessions of a Band Geek Mom” which is more of the same, but in longer, book chapter format. You can check it out on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Band-Geek-Mom-exhausted/dp/0615474993/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1304446183&sr=1-1.

Thanks again. I’m so happy that you’re following my blog. I promise I’ll give you a good giggle again soon!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: